The Key to a Good Connection at times of Conflicts

‘You won’t understand! Leave me alone!’

Take some deep breaths and stay calm.

Focus on your teen’s feelings rather than your own during your conversation.
‘I can see that you feel disturbed recently. Let’s tell me more about it.’

Let your teens know you are listening.
‘I understand that you are really angry and frustrated.’
‘I can feel your worries and exhaustion.’

Appreciate your teen’s willingness to communicate.
‘Even though we disagree with each other, I still care about what you think and how you feel. I am always willing to listen.’
‘I am glad that you are willing to share your thoughts with me.’

Stop arguing about who is right. Acknowledge that it is okay to disagree.
Don’t be judgmental: ‘I think your views are too extreme.’ ‘I can’t accept your views.’
Don’t be intrusive: ‘You have to listen to me.’ ‘You are not allowed to do that.’

Share what you think and how you feel. Work out together possible solutions to a problem.
‘I am concerned when you are having a difficult time.’
‘I really worry about you. Do you think we can work through these difficult feelings together?’

Be positive and helpful.
‘Let me know what you need and maybe we can come up with some solutions together.’
‘We can ask someone for help and advice if you want to.’

Take a break from an angry situation. Talk again at the right time.
‘Let’s take a break.’
‘If you feel comfortable talking to me again, I will be here to listen.’