Shall We Listen? Tips of Listening Skills

 

To help people with emotional distress ease their mind, you can spend time with and listen to them. If you would like to truly understand what others feel and avoid hearing without listening, you can refer to the following tips on improving listening skills.

 

Try not to: Guess or assume what someone is going to say.

  • “Say no more. I knew it already!”
  • “Again? You already talked about that last time.”

 

Try to: Keep an open mind and encourage others to express themselves.

  • “How do you feel lately?”
  • “Is something troubling you? Would you like to talk about it?”
  • “You look a little bit upset. What's wrong?”

 

Try not to: Multitask or do other things when listening to someone.

 

Try to: Pay attention and put aside all tasks at hand to show others that you care about listening to them.

  • Keep quiet and make eye contact as appropriate.
  • Pay attention to the tone, facial expression and body language of others

 

Try not to: Make comment, suggestion or criticism or interrupt someone too soon.

  • “This isn't such a big deal"; "So stupid!"
  • “Say no more. Here's what you should do…”
  • “I told you so. You just didn't listen.”
  • “Last week I went to…”

 

Try to: Be patient and let others freely express themselves.

  • Use short phrases, interjections or body language (e.g. a nodding) as a response to indicate that you are listening.

 

Try not to: Disregard the feelings of others.

  • “There is no need to be so unhappy.”
  • “You shouldn't get angry.”
  • “You get worried because you think too much.”

 

Try to: Restate, acknowledge and accept the feelings of others.

  • “You are worried…because…”
  • “You shared with me our unhappy experience. Thank you for trusting me.”

 

Try to: Put yourself in others’ shoes.

  • “If I were you, I would feel unhappy as well”
  • “It's normal for you to feel worried after such a thing happened.”

 

Try not to: Let your doubts linger. Pretend that you understand.

 

Try to: Ask for clarification about parts you do not understand after the other person finishes talking.

  • “I’m sorry, but I’m a little bit confused about… Would you mind telling me more about it?”

 

Listening approaches and techniques come in many forms and may vary depending on the circumstance and the individual's needs. It is necessary to use the above tips in a flexible way. In doing so, we will be able to lend an empathic ear to those in need of help, and provide them with timely care and assistance.

 

In case of a crisis that calls for immediate action, please call 999 for emergency services.

 

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Produced in 2020