Keys to a happy and successful marriage

Happy marriage is an important part of psychological health. Good preparation is needed. Here are some tips getting you prepare for a happy and successful marriage.

1. What is the meaning of marriage?

  • Marriage is the union of body, mind and soul of a man and a woman. The couple will keep each other company and live together for the rest of their lives. They will try to solve problems together, and share all their happiness and sadness in life. They will work together for a better future.
  • Marriage is an intimate legal relationship. It helps to extend the family and have children if they wish.
  • Harmonious marriage relationship will give both partners a sense of satisfaction and achievement. In addition, healthy marriages provide a strong and stable environment for raising children.
Tips: For a successful marriage, both partners need to be psychologically mature and have a good understanding of each other before getting married. In addition, they should be financially secure and should have long term plan for the family.

2. How much do you understand each other?

  • Prior to entering marriage, it is important that both partners have a good understanding of each other. Besides learning to appreciate your partner's strengths and achievements, it is more important to learn to accept his/her weaknesses and this could help to avoid disappointment and conflicts in the future.
Tips: It is important that couples should learn to communicate with each other. They should both learn to stay calm and be objective in discussing and solving problems.

3. Can you get along well with your spouse's family and friends?

  • Besides learning how to get along well with your spouse, it is equally important to establish a good relationship with your spouse's family and friends.
Tips: It is important for you to accept your spouse's family and friends and to join their gatherings. This could enrich your marital life and widen both your social circles.

4. Can I be a good husband or wife after the marriage?

  • Nowadays, both men and women usually carry many different roles and responsibilities in life. Therefore, it is not uncommon that individual might have different expectations about the role of their partners after the marriage. Hence, it is important to discuss about the roles and responsibilities of each partner in the family before they marry. Depending on time, ability and interest of each partner, it is important to share the work in the family. Careful planning and discussion could avoid unnecessary conflicts in the future.
Tips: It is important for couples to share the workload and responsibilities in the family.

5. How should I handle the expenses in the family?

  • A reasonable and flexible financial budget plan is essential to each family. Before the marriage, it is important to discuss about the future expenses in the family. Work out a financial budget plan that both of you agree and the expenditure in the family should be affordable.
Tips: Prior to entering marriage, it is important to discuss with your partner about the future financial plan and this could help to avoid future conflicts related to money. Furthermore, it could also help you to understand each other's attitudes and values towards money.

6. Will I have my own social life after the marriage?

  • We are born to be with people. Social life is an essential part of our daily lives. Therefore, it is important to maintain your social life after your marriage.
Tips: Introduce your friends to your spouse and maintain social contacts with them as a couple after the marriage. This could help to reduce conflicts related to time management. Furthermore, this could help to widen both your social circles and enhance your relationship with your partner.

7. Is it necessary to have a pre-marital health check?

  • For the health of both of you and your children, it is important to have a pre-marital health check. Early treatment and intervention are possible if diseases are detected at its asymptomatic stage.
Tips:
  • To have a pre-marital health check.
  • If there is any genetic abnormality or disease in the family, it is important to seek medical advice on having children. However, this should not affect the decision of getting married.

8. I know nothing about sex, how could we coordinate our sex life?

  • Sex is a basic need for each individual and is one of the closest ways which you could express your love. A harmonious sexual life means that each partner could appreciate and satisfy the other's sexual need. This will rely on continuous learning and practicing after the marriage.
Tips:
  • Sharing and discussing about your view on sex with your partner before the marriage.
  • Learn more about sex such as the physical differences between a man and a woman, so that you could learn to appreciate and care more about your partner.
  • After marriage, learn to express yourself and appreciate your partner's sexual reaction and sexual feelings so as to promote a harmonious sexual life.

9. What's the best time to have a baby after the marriage?

  • Each of you might have different views about having children, and these include the timing of having children, the number of children you desired and any preference on the sex of the child. Careful planning and discussion about these issues before you marry could help to set the stage for a harmonious family.
Tips:
  • Discuss with your partner about family planning before getting married.
  • Learn more about contraception from the medical professionals and discuss with them about which method is the most suited for you and your partner.

Good preparation leads to a happy and successful marriage.

(Revised in May 2021)

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